Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize