"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize