don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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