Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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