I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
