But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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