So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
