You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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