I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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