Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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