god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
