if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
