Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she was so not down for the gang bang
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
