I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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