We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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