I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
