Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
