Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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