why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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