we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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