how can u be prego again
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
