I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
