I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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