Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
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