i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Enjoy the penises
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
