i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
