Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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