dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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