I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
