Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
