Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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