i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
