writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
