Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
