Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
