Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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