my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
