Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Porn is love you can see.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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