The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
