I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
