Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
