Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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