your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
