I think i peed on brittanys purse
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
