is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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