i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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