You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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