Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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