i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
