I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
