She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
