cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
