I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Be still, my beating vagina.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize