I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My first STD was from a foam party
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize