It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
