I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
