Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
