You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
