hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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