you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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