i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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