just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize