I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
