It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
