It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
