can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
